I’m not given to hyperbole much. I don’t like the grandiose marketing pitch, the over the top production or the multisyllabic words meant to express an extreme affection for asomething, i.e., Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. But, as I watched Session 9 of the Stepping Up™ Video Study I was extremely moved by two questions that Rob Rienow shared as something he had done in his family.
First, it’s relevant to know that I’m not a great planner (ask anyone who knows me). I love big picture ideas, strategic thinking and projecting today into tomorrow. That does encompass some planning. But I’m not a check-it-off-the-list-to-make-me-feel-productive kind of guy. Nothing wrong with those who do that and, in fact, it’s a 2013 resolution for me (as it was in 2012, 2011, 2010, et al). All that means is that when someone starts talking about planning my mind begins to wander a bit. I’ve tried just about every conceivable planning method that is out there. Getting Things Done, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Franklin Planners, DayTimers, Pomodoro, and on and on.
When Rob began sharing about the need to create a family plan, I lamented a bit. As he discussed how much casting a family vision helped him lead his family using these principles he and his wife set for their family, I was a little regretful that I had never really done that in a formal way with my wife and our family. I believe that God has allowed me to lead my family intentionally around a lot of issues but I wished I had spent more time to create a family plan on the front end and carrying it out on the back. Then, he did it. He laid it out in the form of two questions that really impacted me. Even though my children are in their early 20’s, I can still answer these questions and make sure that I’m continuing to build into their lives even though they are moving firmly down the path of their own life journey. He asked, “What do you want to impress upon the hearts of your children when it comes to the love of God?” Then he asked two questions that will help you align your response to that question and the direction you are taking them.
- When you’re kids leave home some day, which of the following do you want the most for them?
- A major athletic scholarship to a great university;
- A high IQ and academic success to get an academic scholarship to a prestigious university and have a successful career;
- to have lots of friends and be very popular and be a social leader or
- develop great faith and character that will last their lifetime?
- Which of the following gets most of your parenting time, stress, money, resources, anxiety and attention?
- athletic development;
- academic development;
- social development or
- spiritual faith and character development?
Dad’s Todo Today:
Answer those questions for yourself. Discuss them with your wife. Make an honest assessment of whether or not you are really spending time with your kids on the things that matter. Are you really preparing them for their future or yours? If it’s not for theirs you might have some adjusting to do. Then, spend time charting a 2013 plan that will incorporate spending more time and resources building them into the best path for their future development as God’s children. This is probably more than a one day ToDo so take as much time as you need cuz this one’s is important. Take it from someone who wishes he had had this advice about 20 years ago.